Tuesday, June 03, 2008

the eco-freak within...

A crazy lady has taken over my house.

She goes around screaming things like, "Who threw this away?!?", and, "Why do they even give us recycling bins if no one is going to USE them?!"

I'm not sure she has a search warrant for her "Trash Police" raids on our garbage bins.

Did I mention she follows us, too? Even when we're at other people's homes, she demands to bundle up all the compostable discards during our visits so she can carry the crap home. Can you believe this bitch?

She canceled the newspaper, demanded I stop buying paper towels AND (rumor has it) there's apparently a lot more to come! She won't take plastic or Styrofoam "to-go" boxes at restaurants and somehow feels comfortable asking for a piece of foil instead. This chick gives new meaning to "high maintenance"!

Despite my insistence that she keep her hands off my toilet paper, I caught her at my sewing machine the other day experimenting with "family cloth", which she insists would only be for Number 1. When will this madness stop?

I'll tell you when... when someone pries the most recent issue of Mother Earth News from my cold, dead fingers.

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