the many advantages of using drugs...

As mentioned previously, my little boy is learning to walk drive. In the great state of Florida, that means successfully passing the required Drug and Alcohol Awareness class... and by "class" I mean 4 hours online (whether it actually takes you four hours or not) reading, taking "these-don't-count" quizzes and successfully passing an open book "this-does-count" final exam. After looking around a bit, I decided on the course offered by Ticket School. I should have looked a bit harder. (Note to Florida parents: Find a company that includes the Driver's Test with the D&A course, especially if your teen stresses over test-taking. Ticket School does not offer both. My not knowing he could take the test online now means Collin will have to take it at the DMV office, instead of having the option to take it in the comfort of his own home.)

It was my understanding the purpose of the Drug and Alcohol course was to educate and prevent drug use among teens. Silly me. Apparently part of the course is teaching kids how awesome drugs are. I kid you not.

While my wonderful son was taking his D&A course, he occasionally would need clarification on certain situations. We would discuss his question and then on he would go with the next part of his class. I got in the habit of checking in on him every now-and-again, too, just to see how things were progressing.

You can imagine my surprise when my precious baby fifteen-year-old called out to me, "MOM--What are the ADVANTAGES of using drugs?" Hawha?!?

Absolutely certain he must not be understanding the question (though I know he's the smartest being on the face of the planet), I went to see how he could have gotten this particular so wrong.

No mistake. He read the question exactly as it was written.

My son, as part of the Drug and Alcohol Awareness course he was required by the State of Florida to take and pass, had to list not just one or two advantages of using drugs, but ten. Yes, ten, as in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, TEN. The next part of the exercise was to list 10 disadvantages of using drugs. I'm not sure I understand what POSSIBLE purpose this exercise serves. Actually, I'm sure I don't.

As if the assignment wasn't ridiculous enough, what came next totally threw me for a loop. The following list appeared on my son's computer screen and was identified as "answers other course takers (reminder: mostly 15 year olds) recently listed" as their responses to this insane question:

1. You can get high/feel good/have a sense of euphoria.
2. You can be accepted by people you like.
3. You can look cool.
4. You can make money selling drugs.
5. You can escape from your problems.
6. You can try something different and exciting.
7. Your sexual experience can be enhanced.
8. Drugs can ease your pain.
9. Using drugs can be a way to “get back” at your parents/authority figures.
10. Drugs can relax you/help you to “mellow out.”

As a means of comparison, here are the recent responses listed for "10 Disadvantages of Using Drugs":

1. You can be arrested/go to jail.
2. You can lose your job or not get the job you want because you have a history of drug use.
3. You can be disqualified from playing sports/getting into college.
4. You might start stealing or prostituting to support your drug habit.
5. You might experience a “crash” after the effect of the drug has worn off.
6. You can develop a tolerance that will cause you to use more and more of the drug.
7. You might contract or pass on a sexually transmitted disease when sharing needles.
8. Withdrawal can be very painful and often involves nausea, vomiting, chills, and tremors.
9. You can cause problems with your parents/family/others who care about you.
10. You can die from an overdose, or after your heart has slowed down to the point of stopping.

Really?? We don't get to dying until #10? Is it just me or does this seem like a pretty lame list of disadvantages?

Disclaimer: I have never used any drugs that were not prescribed to me by a doctor. Never. I've never smoked pot. (Yes, REALLY.) I've never used coke, PCP, meth, or any other sundry of narcotics out there. Why? I grew up in a family of law enforcement officers, and among the many other reasons "not to" was the fact that drugs were always illegal. (I say it that way because I did drink before turning 21... but alcohol eventually became legal.) Looking back on things now, though, I think there was more to not using just because it was against the law. I heard so many stories from my father and uncles about drug users that I knew I never wanted that life for myself. If using just once could start me down that road, then I wouldn't use "just once". I wouldn't ever use. And I haven't. At this point in my life, it's become kind of a non-issue. Let's be serious... who STARTS using drugs at 35??!! That said...

Am I off base here? Is this an acceptable activity for a Drug & Alcohol Awareness Course for mostly fifteen-year-olds in anyone else's eyes?? One required by state law that I had to pay $39.95 for?? Here are my own responses...

10 Advantages to Using Drugs

1. No more homework! Fortunately drug possession on campus is grounds for expulsion.
2. You don't have to worry about finding one of those annoying "jobs".
3. Instead of honest work, you can just steal stuff from your family, friends and neighbors.
4. No more waking up early! You got kicked out of school and can't get a job. Why bother?
5. You get lots of practice in lying and covering your tracks.
6. You make lots of new friends (ie. police officers, bail bondsmen, your new cellmate "Tiny", your probation officer, etc.).
7. You don't have to worry about your appearance anymore. Using drugs has an "aura" all its own.
8. You can take up smoking cigarettes without that becoming the most detrimental thing you purposely do to yourself.
9. You learn where all the local pawn shops are.
10. You don't have to live with your parents anymore, since all they ever did was give you grief anyway.

10 Disadvantages to Using Drugs

1. You could die.
2. You could kill someone else.
3. You could be killed by someone else.
4. If you don't die, you might end up wishing you would.
5. You could end up in jail.
6. You could end up on the streets.
7. You could die. (Did I mention that already?)
8. Once addicted, the fight to recovery is a long, painful, grueling one. Not everyone comes out on top.
9. You could lose everything... your family, your friends, your home, your health, your life.
10. Permanent consequences for a temporary high never makes sense. And, oh yeah, you could die. (One more time... just for good measure.)

OK. I think I'm done now.